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Fool's Duality

愚者二象性

19 chapters · 562 lines · English and Chinese below. Japanese and Korean, voices and theatre mode are in the reader.

Fool's Duality 愚者二象性

In the Oasis' Ops Room.绿洲，指挥部。

PersicariaOperand budgeting... Patrol allocations... Search requests...算量开支……巡逻调配……检索请求……

PersicariaYup, that's pretty much everything for now. Thanks for your hard work, Professor.嗯，这样一来就基本告一段落了。辛苦了，教授。

ProfessorYou've worked hard yourself. Next...你也辛苦了。那么接下来，就是……

系统Notification: You have a new work item awaiting clearance.提示：您有新的待处理消息。

ProfessorPersicaria, can you help me see what it is?帕斯卡，可以帮我看一下是什么吗？

帕斯卡？(Sigh) What a pain.哈啊，真麻烦。

帕斯卡？Engineering is requesting extra operands for emergency maintenance. Here, this is the work list.工程局申请额外算量用于临时维护。喏，明细表单。

Professor...Oookay.……好的。

帕斯卡？(Yawns)（哈欠）

帕斯卡？I'll be nodding off if there's nothing else. Let me know if anything comes up.那我继续趴着了，有事再叫我。

ProfessorHow's it going, Persicaria?怎么样，帕斯卡？

PersicariaThe data on the list is all correct. In other words, it definitely inherited my memories.表单的数据没有问题。也就是说，它确实继承了我的记忆。

PersicariaStill... What IS this?但是……这到底是什么东西？

Several hours ago.几小时前。

In the Doll dorms at the Oasis.绿洲，人形宿舍。

Chelsea(Sigh)唉……

ImhotepIsn't that Chelsea? Good morning~这不是炽吗？早上好~

ChelseaMorning...早……

ImhotepWhat's the matter? You look down.怎么了？一副没精打采的样子。

ImhotepLet me guess, did Octogen blow something up again?让我猜猜，是奥托金又把哪里搞炸了？

ChelseaIf he'd really done that, I'd be on the move by now!真要是那样的话我现在已经出动了啦！

ChelseaIt's because of the occasion. Why don't you guess what day it is today?是因为今天的日子啦。你想想，今天是什么节日？

ImhotepApril 1st... Ah, it's already April Fool's Day.4月1……啊，已经到愚人节了啊。

ImhotepIsn't this a day for you to show your stuff? Why do you look so depressed instead?这不应该是你大显身手的日子吗？怎么反倒不开心？

ChelseaThat's not the problem. April Fool's Day is a day when everyone pranks each other, right?问题就在这里啊。愚人节是大家互相恶作剧的节日对吧。

ChelseaBut pranks are pranks because they're unexpected.但是恶作剧之所以叫恶作剧，就是因为它出其不意啊。

ChelseaSo if everyone arranges to prank each other on this day... It means I won't be able to surprise anyone, right?所有人都事先约好了要在这一天恶作剧的话……那不就吓不到人了吗？

ImhotepHm... Well, I don't fully understand it.嗯……虽然我不能完全理解。

ImhotepThat said, I'm sure that everyone will be on guard against you today, Chelsea.不过可以肯定的是，炽在这一天一定会被重点防范呢。

ChelseaThat's what annoys me...就是不喜欢这一点啊……

ImhotepAlright, alright. If you really can't take it any more, why don't you go trick someone who'd get tricked anyway on April Fool's Day?好啦好啦。实在不行的话，就去骗骗在愚人节也会被骗的人吧？

ChelseaAs if there would be such a convenient target... Ah!哪有那么好骗的人——啊……

ChelseaI've got it!我想到啦！

ChelseaHeeheehee, this is the place.嘻嘻嘻，就是这里了。

The two of them stand in front of Chanzhi's dorm room.两个人站在了缠枝的宿舍门前。

ImhotepNow, if it's Chanzhi... Then it's pretty likely.缠枝的话……确实有可能呢。

ChelseaExcuse me... Huh, is the door open?打扰咯……欸，门好像开着？

ChanzhiLike this... And then like this...这样……再这样……

Chanzhi...If only I could make it happen...……如果能实现的话就好了……

ImhotepDoesn't sound like she's making clothes. Chelsea, let's not rush in just yet.听起来好像不是在织衣服。炽，我们先别急着进去。

ChelseaHuh? Um, okay...哎？唔，好……

ChanzhiIf I can make this... Then I won't be fooled again!只要把这个做出来……我就不会被骗了！

Chanzhi(Sob) Why am I so bad at dealing with scams and tricks?呜呜呜，谁让我不擅长应对那些骗术呢？

ChanzhiI'm always the one who suffers most on April Fool's Day every year... I've already been tricked three times today and it isn't even noon yet!每年愚人节，我都是最倒霉的那一个……今天还不到中午，就已经被骗了三次了！

ChelseaSomeone actually made a move before me?居然有人比我还快？

ChanzhiMiss Dushevnaya stuck a note on my back...杜莎妮小姐在我背上贴了字条……

ChelseaThat's such an old-school prank.好古典的恶作剧啊。

ChanzhiMiss Souchun gave me black tea that put me to sleep after I drank it...薮春小姐给了我喝完会睡着的红茶……

ImhotepSo Souchun can prank people too.原来薮春也会捉弄人呀。

ChanzhiAnd then Miss Kuro hid a toy cockroach in my chewing gum to scare me while streaming the whole thing!还有卡萝小姐，用藏了蟑螂的玩具口香糖吓唬我，还把全过程直播出去了！

ChelseaI say, that's a bit much!这确实有些过分了！

ImhotepIt'll be fine, the Professor will shut down her stream channel once they see it, I think.没关系，教授看到之后应该会把卡萝的直播间封掉的。

Chanzhi(Sniffle) Why is my memory so bad?呜呜呜，为什么我总是不长记性呢？

ChelseaI didn't know she was so torn up about it... And to think I wanted to start with her.没想到缠枝这么苦恼……我居然还想从她开始下手。

ChelseaShould I go apologize...要不去跟她道个歉吧……

ImhotepDon't rush, Chelsea. It doesn't look like she's finished mumbling to herself yet.别急，炽。她好像还没自言自语完。

Chanzhi...Fortunately I made preparations this year. Though I had a hard time this morning, you won't be fooling me again soon!……还好我今年早有准备。虽然上午被骗了个惨，但马上你们就骗不了人了！

ChanzhiI bought a secret weapon from Miss Riko ahead of time—the Lie Detector Plushie!我提前在理子小姐那里购买了秘密武器——测谎玩偶！

ChanzhiAlthough it only looks like a tattered plushie doll, Miss Riko said that it would make the people around me unable to lie!虽然看上去只是个破破烂烂的人偶，但理子小姐说过了，它能让周围的人变得没办法说谎！

ChanzhiConsidering I spent most of this month's allowance on it, I need to make sure I get value for money!花了我大半个月的零花钱，一定要物有所值啊！

ChelseaThat Riko...理子这家伙……

ImhotepLooks like Chanzhi got scammed again. Riko must have dumped some plushie from her warehouse that nobody wanted onto her.看来缠枝又被骗了呢。理子肯定是随手从库存里找了个没人要的玩偶给她吧。

ChanzhiI still got tricked even though I carried it with me this morning; it must have been because it's all worn out.早上带着它也还是被骗了，一定是因为它身上有破损的缘故。

ChanzhiIt should be fine once I patch up this place and that.等我把这些地方都缝起来，就没问题啦。

ImhotepShe's too innocent. I almost can't bear to tell her the truth.太纯真了，有点不忍心告诉她真相啊。

ChelseaBut I can't just keep watching her go on like this!但果然还是不能看她这样下去！

Bang!砰！

ChanzhiEhh?!哎？！

Chelsea suddenly barges into the room.炽突然推门而入。

ChelseaSorry, Chanzhi! We heard... uwah?!不好意思缠枝！我们听到……呜哇？！

ImhotepChanzhi... What are you doing here?缠枝……你在干什么呢？

The lights are off in the darkened room and the curtains are tightly shut. Someone has drawn a strange pattern on the ground with chalk and lit candles around it.昏暗的房间里没有开灯，窗帘也拉得严严实实。地板上用粉笔画了一个奇怪的图案，还点了几根蜡烛。

In its middle is Chanzhi, who is holding a goat-shaped plushie doll. She has just finished stitching it up.在图案的正中央，缠枝正抱着一只状似山羊的玩偶，刚完成收针。

ChanzhiYou, you heard it all?你，你们都听到了？

ChelseaUm, yeah, I was going to promise I wouldn't prank you this year...嗯，本来我是想来向你保证今年不会骗你的……

ImhotepBut could you please tell us what exactly you're doing here first? Be honest.但是你这里到底是在做什么，可以先诚实地告诉我们吗？

ChelseaDon't tell me you're going to hex us all to death because we pranked you...该不会，因为我们对你恶作剧，你就要咒杀我们吧……

ChanzhiOf course not, how could I!不是不是，怎么会！

ChanzhiI was just following the instructions in the manual Miss Riko gave me... It said that I had to do this to bring out the plushie's powers.我只是按照理子小姐给的说明书在行动……那上面说，这个玩偶要这样才能发挥效力。

Chanzhi hands over a parchment scroll.缠枝递来一张羊皮纸。

ChelseaWhy are the instructions written on a scroll?为什么会有写在羊皮纸上的说明书啊？

ImhotepThis... This looks like it contains some kind of ancient ritual...这……好像记载了某种古老的仪式……

ChelseaCome on, surely this is way too suspicious no matter how you look at it!这不管怎么看都太可疑了吧！

ChanzhiBut it's for the sake of making everyone tell the truth...但是为了让大家说真话……

???&*%￥#...&*%￥#……

ChelseaC-Chanzhi...缠，缠枝……

ChelseaWas that your tummy rumbling just now?刚刚是你的肚子在叫吗？

ChanzhiHeck no!才不是！

ChelseaBut that sound came from...但声音确实是从……

ImhotepYeah, it came from that plushie.嗯，是从那个玩偶里发出来的。

???¥#¥#...￥#￥#……

Everyone looks where Imhotep is pointing and at the plushie that Chanzhi is holding in front of her. It is making creepy noises right now.顺着伊姆赫特的手指，几人看向缠枝拿在身前的玩偶。它此刻正发出诡异的声音。

Immediately after that, the pattern on the ground explodes with blinding light.紧接着，地面的图案突然爆发出耀眼的光芒。

As the light recedes, the group slowly open their eyes to see—待到光芒散去时，众人缓缓睁开双眼，才发现——

???&*%¥#...&*%￥#……

A strangely-drawn chibi creature is standing in the room.一个二头身、画风奇怪的生物，出现在房间里。

ChelseaWhere did this come from?这是从哪里冒出来的？

ImhotepA species that's never been recorded before...没有记载的物种……

ChanzhiHuh? Where'd my plushie go?哎？我的玩偶不见了？

The creature howls unintelligibly before sprinting out the door.那生物发出一声意味不明的嘶吼，随即夺门而出。

Professor...And after that, you started receiving reports of mass sightings of chibi creatures throughout the Oasis?……所以，那之后绿洲各地就出现了大量二头身生物的目击报告？

ProfessorJudging by the timestamps, it's very likely the two events are connected...从时间点上来看，这两件事情确实存在很大的关联……

WillowYes, Chanzhi said she's already reflected sincerely on her wrongdoings...是的，缠枝说她已经充分反省过了……

ProfessorWe'll discuss that later. Have you found Riko yet?这种事等以后再说吧。找到理子了吗？

WillowI've already questioned her, and she said it was just some junk she dug out of the warehouse while clearing it.已经问过她了，她说自己只是在找借口处理仓库里挖出来的杂物而已。

WillowShe doesn't remember where that plushie came from. Maybe it ended up in her hands from an earlier trade...她也不知道那个玩偶到底是哪里来的，可能是以前做交易的时候流到她手里的……

ProfessorTo think she'd have the nerve to sell things of unknown origins.来历不明的东西也真亏她敢拿出来卖啊。

ProfessorTell her that we'll be expecting compensation for all this once the matter is settled.跟她说，等事情解决了，赔偿款少不了。

ProfessorThanks for the hard work, Willow.辛苦你了，薇洛儿。

I hang up and look back at Persicaria.我挂上通讯，回头看向帕斯卡。

ProfessorHow's that chibi doing now?那个二头身的情况如何？

PersicariaIt's been sleeping all this time.只是一直在呼呼大睡而已。

ProfessorGood. At least it's not posing a threat for now.那就好，至少暂时没有什么危害。

PersicariaSpeaking of which, why did you let Willow handle the investigation just now? Shouldn't you have let Sol and Simo from the Security Department handle it?说回来，刚才的调查走访为什么是让薇洛儿去的呢？不是应该让安全部门的席摩和苏尔去吗？

ProfessorWell, I WANTED to, but they look...本来是这样，但他们看起来都……

I open the transmission screen and show it to Persicaria.我打开通讯画面，给帕斯卡看。

ProfessorProfessor to Sol.教授呼叫苏尔。

SolAbabababa...阿巴阿巴……

PersicariaIs that... Sol's chibi?苏尔……的二头身？

PersicariaThat scared me. I thought she got seriously hurt for a moment.吓我一跳，我一瞬间还以为是苏尔受了这么重的伤。

SolWhere... Where's my sword?我……我的刀呢？

ProfessorLooks like it hasn't discovered the sword stuck in its own head.它好像完全没有发现自己的脑袋上插着一把刀。

ProfessorIn that respect, it's kind of similar to the real Sol...这点上倒是和苏尔有几分相像……

PersicariaThen where's the real Sol?那苏尔本人呢？

SolHm? Where's my communicator?欸，我的通讯装置呢？

SolI thought I heard it ringing... Where is it?刚刚好像听到它响了……哪去了？

Professor...Looks like Sol's chibi took her communicator, but she hasn't realized it yet.……看起来，苏尔的通讯装置是被二头身拿走了，但她本人也没察觉的样子。

Persicaria and I look at each other awkwardly for a few moments, and then I switch the communicator over to another channel.我和帕斯卡有些尴尬地对视了一会，随即将通讯装置切到下一个频道。

ProfessorProfessor to Simo.教授呼叫席摩。

席摩？This is Simo ~squeak.席摩吱。

PersicariaUwah?!哇？！

席摩？Feel free to give me your orders, Professor ~squeak.教授，请您尽管吩咐吱。

PersicariaThat's a huge ermine...好大的一只雪貂……

席摩？That's not an ermine, it's Simo ~squeak.不是雪貂，是席摩。吱。

席摩？You bet ~squeak!保证完成任务吱！

The Simo-Ermine readily agrees to any request I make.不管我提出什么要求，席摩雪貂似乎都会立刻接受。

However, it doesn't seem too bright, and after accepting the assignment it simply stands there and spaces out.但是它看起来不太聪明的样子，接下任务后还是只会在原地发呆。

PersicariaHow should I say this... It really does look like Simo.该怎么说呢……还真有点像席摩啊。

Can you help me interview the Oasis' Dolls?能为我走访绿洲人形吗？

Can I touch your fur?能给我摸摸毛吗？

PersicariaIt's kind of cute and very loyal, and it has savage fighting power...有点可爱又很忠诚，而且还拥有野兽的战斗力……

Upon hearing Persicaria's words, an idea suddenly forms in my head.听了帕斯卡的话，一个想法突然在我脑海里产生。

ProfessorThat's it! Didn't Chanzhi say that plushie would make it so that nobody around it could lie?对了！缠枝不是说过，那个玩偶能让周围的人变得没办法说谎吗？

ProfessorIt all makes sense now!这样就对得上了！

PersicariaBy which you mean...您的意思是……

ProfessorAfter that plushie went berserk, it read the neural clouds of all the Dolls within its effect radius.那个玩偶暴走之后，读取了影响范围内人形的心智。

ProfessorIt used that data to create duplicates of everyone that expressed their inner selves. This way, everyone is unable to lie!它用那些数据做出了大家的分身，代表了大家内心真实的一面，这样大家就没办法说谎了！

PersicariaBut... But is it even possible to read base layer neural cloud data without establishing an interface?可是……可是不经过对接就直接读取藏在底层的心智信息，这可能吗？

PersicariaOnly the people who made us would have that kind of auth...除非是创造我们的人才有那样的权……

Bang!砰！

Halfway through Persicaria's words, someone suddenly bashes open the door to the Ops Room.帕斯卡的话刚说到一半，指挥室的大门突然被撞开了。

Many Dolls and their chibis flood in.好多人形和人形的二头身涌了进来。

克罗琦？THE SCHOOL OF THE MACHINE GOD'S ROAR! THE WINDS OF THE KING! BEHOLD, THE HORIZON IS BURNING WITH RAGE!流派·机神咆哮是帝王之风啊！看吧，地平线正愤怒地燃烧起来！

CroqueHold it right there! That's my precious cosplay outfit!站住！那可是我珍藏的cos道具！！

卡萝？Surprise livestream! Time to reveal the hidden secrets of the Ops Room!突击直播！揭露指挥室隐藏的秘密！

KuroHey, give me back my drone!喂，把我的无人机还给我！

桑朵莱希？Master, I have come to clean your room.长官，我来为您打扫房间了。

CentaureissiI apologize, Master. I should not have let it barge into your quarters...很抱歉，长官，我不该放任它擅闯您的房间……

ProfessorYup, everything's a mess now.完全乱成一锅粥了。

KuroAh, if it isn't the Professor!啊，这不是教授嘛！

Kuro looks at me and then sidles up while rubbing her hands.卡萝看到我，突然搓着手凑了上来。

KuroSay, Prof, haven't there been nonstop reports of unidentified creatures in the Oasis today?您看，今天绿洲不是一直有不明生物出没的传闻吗？

KuroThe agents who don't know what's going on must be terribly worried... We need to stream the conditions on the ground to reassure them, don't you think?现在还不清楚情况的智能体一定都很慌张……我们得快点把实际情况播出去，好让他们安心，是吧？

KuroWhich is why you need to unblock my stream channel...所以我的直播间能不能先解封……

卡萝？Unblock it! Unblock the stream channel! Then we can stir up sh*t!解封！解封直播间！然后就可以带节奏！

卡萝？Stir sh*t! Get clicks! We'll get tons of hits while covering this!带节奏！赚流量！趁这波一定能涨好多热度！

卡萝？Once I get on the Professor's good side, this petty little Oasis will be in the palm of my hand!只要讨好了教授，区区绿洲还不是都在我卡萝的掌控当中！

KuroHey!喂！

KuroUm, ah, Professor, it's just running its mouth, it has nothing to do with me...这，这个，教授啊，它自己在那里说，跟我可没有关系……

ProfessorLooks like these chibis aren't completely useless after all.看来这些二头身也不是毫无用处啊。

CroqueDon't talk like it doesn't concern you, Professor! Hurry up and stop them!别说风凉话了教授！快阻止它们啊！

克罗琦？There's so many people... How did the Ops Room fill up with all these people at once.好多人……指挥部里居然一下子冒出这么多人。

克罗琦？Good thing I can hide in my box, otherwise my social phobia would kick in.还好我可以躲在箱子里，不然就要社恐发作了。

克罗琦？Actually it's not like I don't want to get along with the others but whenever I talk to them face to face I get scared and if I carelessly act all casual with them I'm afraid others will look down on me but I need to preserve the uniqueness of my hobbies so...其实也不是不想和大家搞好关系但是直接说话果然还是会害怕而且随随便便放下架子可能会被人小看更何况如果大家和我有了共同的兴趣那我的存在感……

CroqueUwaaaaaah Professor find some way to deal with them!呜哇哇哇教授快点想办法解决它们吧！

CroqueAnd you, Persicaria, say something already!还有帕斯卡你也说点什么啊！

PersicariaHehe, I think they're surprisingly handy too...呵呵，我也觉得它们不是毫无用处呢……

帕斯卡？(Yawns) What the heck are you guys making all this racket for...呼啊……搞什么啊你们，这么吵。

帕斯卡？What are all these people doing in the Ops Room?为什么这么多人都涌到指挥部里了？

帕斯卡？Honestly, now my alone time with the Professor that I've been looking forward to all day is...真是的，我每天最期待的、和教授的独处时间都……

PersicariaAHHHHHH PROFESSOR! WE NEED TO GET RID OF THESE CHIBIS AFTER ALL!啊啊啊教授！果然还是必须处理掉这些二头身！

PersicariaP-Professor...教，教授……

桑朵莱希？Speaking of which, I've noticed a certain familiar smell on Master. It reminds me of a soldier I once served...说起来，我一直觉得长官身上有一种熟悉的味道，就好像我以前服务过的军人……

ProfessorAHEM! Looks like we DO need to think of a solution quickly!咳咳！确实是得赶紧想办法了！

ProfessorIf we can find that goat-like creature, we should be able to research the cause of this phenomenon, right?只要找到那个像山羊一样的生物，就可以研究这种现象的成因了对吧？

PersicariaYes, but the Oasis is filled with chibis now...是的，但现在绿洲到处都是二头身……

Indeed, it's time to eliminate them.确实是该处理掉了。

Hm? I don't think we need to rush it.哎？我觉得不用着急也可以啊。

CroqueOur daily operations will be paralyzed at this rate, Professor! This guy just stole all the operands from the Engineering Department...这样下去日常运作也会瘫痪的，教授！这家伙就抢了工程局的算量……

ProfessorLooks like we'll have to capture all the chibis, then.看来不先捕捉二头身不行啊。

ProfessorPersicaria, Croque, go mobilize the Security Department and apprehend these chibis. Centaureissi, organize the Logistics Department and take stock of our losses.帕斯卡，克罗琦，你们去发动安保部门捕捉二头身。桑朵莱希，你去后勤部门清点损失。

ProfessorMove out, now!马上行动！

众人Roger!收到！

And so, this chaotic mess of an April Fool's Day unfolded like some great cosmic joke.仿佛老天开了个玩笑般，一个鸡飞狗跳的愚人节，就这样拉开了序幕。

ProfessorKuro, you're going to the confinement room.卡萝，你去禁闭室。

Persicaria? 帕斯卡？

PersicariaFound you at last. To think you'd actually take a nap here...终于找到你了，居然在这里打瞌睡吗……

PersicariaHonestly, how can you even have such a peaceful look on your face after causing so much trouble! Get up alr-真是的，搞出了这么多乱子还一脸安逸，快起来——

帕斯卡？QUIT YOUR WHINING ALREADY!烦不烦啊！

PersicariaUwah!呜哇！

PersicariaIt, it actually threw the goat at me...居、居然直接把羊砸过来了……

帕斯卡？You're messing with me during my afternoon nap. You know the consequences of that, right?……在我的午睡时间胡闹，你知道后果的吧？

PersicariaWhy does this sense of menace feel so familiar...这种熟悉的威胁感……

Sol? 苏尔？

SolHey, stop wasting time with this goat and come back with me!喂，别跟这只羊待在一起了，快跟我回去！

SolThere's no rush... let me find my Alsvid first...别急……让我先找到我的阿尔斯维……

SolIt's stuck in your head!就在你头上插着啊！

SolHuh? Nope...诶？没有啊……

SolOh right, chibis can't reach their heads...呃，二头身摸不到自己的头啊……

SolHow dare you lie to me! Dammit! Taste my Swiftflame Slash... Oh wait, I don't have a sword.居然骗我！可恶！吃我一记迅炎斩……啊，没有刀。

SolGood lord, I'll pull the damn thing out myself!真是的，就让我亲手帮你拔出来好了！

Croque? 克罗琦？

克罗琦？Hahaha, I'm a Metal Suit!哈哈哈，我就是机兵！

CroqueHey! Give me back my cosplay outfit!喂！快把我的COS道具还给我啊！

克罗琦？Ah, if it isn't my prototype!哎呀，这不是我的原型机嘛！

克罗琦？Baabaa Bits, FIRE!咩咩浮游炮，发射！

CroqueI can't believe it's wrecking my collection along with this weird goat...居然和这个怪羊一起糟蹋我的收藏……

CroqueDamn it! Looks like I need to give you some correction!可恶！像你这样的家伙，我要修正你！

克罗琦？Wahaha, show me what the Prototype Croque can do, then!哇哈哈，就让我见识一下吧，克罗琦原型机的性能！

Antonina? 安冬妮娜？

AntoninaTo think you gave that goat your IP to avoid pursuit. I expected nothing less of my chibi...居然把IP挂在那只羊的身上来逃避追踪，真不愧是我的二头身啊。

安冬妮娜？Dammit, she still found me in the end... Antonina No.2, do your best!可恶，还是被找到了……安冬妮娜2号，给我加油啊！

安冬妮娜2号？Code... deadline... energy insufficient...代码……deadline……能量不足……

AntoninaSo you made a duplicate to take your place? Good idea.复制新的个体来代替自己吗？真是个不错的点子。

AntoninaIn that case... I'll put you both to work for me.那么……就把你们两个都抓来给我打工好了。

安冬妮娜？Hehe, I want to make YOU, the original, work for ME.哼哼，我倒是更想让你这个本体来给我打工呢。

AntoninaI already cracked 50% of your firewall while you were boasting.在你说大话的时候，防火墙的破解进度已经过半了哦。

安冬妮娜？UWAH! Hurry, No.2! If we lose, we'll be her code monkeys!呜哇，2号，快上啊！输掉的话就要沦为她的码奴了！

安冬妮娜2号？Urgh, it's all the same for me whether we lose or win...呃，输赢对我来说好像没什么区别啊……

Kuro? 卡萝？

卡萝？This is the Oasis Bizarre Happenings Livestream, the hottest thing on the block! We've invited a special guest onto our show today!绿洲异常事件全程直播，大炒特炒！有请特邀嘉宾！

KuroLivestream my foot! Our channel's been blocked and you're a bizarre happening yourself, aren't you?直播个毛啊！直播间已经封了，而且你们就是异常事件本身吧！

卡萝？This is my backup plan! I've set up a new stream channel and I'll be using a big name to draw viewers!开启备案！创建新的直播间，用大号引流！

KuroHm? That's actually a good idea...嗯？好像是个好主意……

卡萝？Status update: Kuro No. 1 will be on indefinite hiatus, please like and subscribe to Kuro Mini...编辑动态：即日起卡萝一号机无限期休眠，请转移关注至卡萝mini……

KuroWhat the heck are you posting to my account? As if it's going to get you that much traffic! Give me back my phone already!!!你在拿我的账号发什么鬼啊？哪有这么引流的！？快把手机还给我！！！

Simo? 席摩？

Simo...Would you mind going back with me?……能请你跟我走一趟吗?

席摩？I refuse, I'm carrying out an assignment from the Professor ~squeak.拒绝，正在执行教授的任务吱。

SimoWhat assignment?任务？

席摩？To find an unknown creature ~squeak.寻找不明生物吱。

SimoBut your mission objective is right there...你的任务目标就在这里啊……

席摩？...Searching for unknown creatures ~squeak.……寻找不明生物吱。

Simo(Sigh) It's just like the Professor said, does it mean I have to subdue you through fighting?唉，果然和教授说的一样，只能通过战斗来制服了吗？

席摩？Fight, fight ~squeak!战斗吱！

SimoOh? You perked up when I mentioned fighting.哦？提到战斗就打起精神了呢。

Hubble? 赫波？

HubbleSo that's where you are, Little Hubble and Little Goat...原来在这里呀，小赫波和小羊……

HubbleAre you alright... Hm? Are you sleeping?你们好……诶？都在睡觉吗？

赫波？(Snore) The meteors race across the starry sky, falling one after another...呼……流星划过夜空，徐徐落下……

???¥#&*...￥#&*……

HubbleHehe, it seems you're having a nice dream.呵呵，好像在做着不错的梦呢。

赫波？Burning stars plunge down... and the Oasis is engulfed in flames...星火陨落……烈焰吞噬绿洲……

HubbleOh dear, it seems the dream has taken an unfortunate turn...哎呀，往不太好的方向发展了……

赫波？Fresnel's body turning to crystal while she fires her laser... So pretty...菲涅尔的素体在辐射中变成了结晶……真漂亮……

Hubble...I think I ought to wake them up now.……看来该叫醒它们了呢。

Hatsuchiri? 初尘？

HatsuchiriI can't believe you were hiding in the bedrock... What are you doing?居然躲在岩层里……你在做什么呢？

初尘？Look, I found a cryptid... And a live one too.看，我在地底找到了未知生物…… 活的。

HatsuchiriSo she was there as well...她也在这里吗……

初尘？Hm, I could hear a familiar call coming from her. This is where I truly belong after all.嗯，我从她身上听见了熟悉的呼唤，果然这里才是我的归宿。

HatsuchiriYou won't be able to return if you go any further. Come on back.这样下去就无法回头了，快回去吧。

初尘？Like she said, let's stay here and celebrate this moment... Can you hear this melody?正如她所说，一起留在这里为此刻演奏欢庆吧……听到了吗，这个旋律？

氧气瓶(Whistling)呜呜——呜——呜——

HatsuchiriSo this oxygen tank could play a tune... I'll have to try it myself when I get back.原来这个氧气瓶还有吹奏功能吗……回去也试试看好了。

Sueyoi? 末宵？

SueyoiI didn't expect you to be hiding here with that goat-freak... And in this form too.真没想到你会和这只怪羊躲在这里……用的还是这种造型。

末宵？How about it? It looks bigger than Hatsuchiri's octopus sensor now, right?怎么样，这样看起来比初尘的那只章鱼探测器更大了吧？

Sueyoi...I can't believe my own chibi is such a dork.……我的二头身为什么会蠢成这样。

末宵？Whew... it's so stuffy inside... I need to show this off in front of Hatsuchiri ASAP...呼……好闷……得赶快在初尘面前展示一下……

SueyoiOi, could you not mention Hatsuchiri with every other word coming out of your mouth?喂，能不能不要句句话都不离初尘啊。

末宵？Are you afraid of comparing yourself to her? I'm stronger than her, and you too!你是在害怕和她比较吗？我会比她更强，也会比你更强的！

Sueyoi...Time to shut you up.……你还是赶紧闭嘴吧。

Aki? 秋？

AkiIt's so bright outside, but instead of napping in it, I have to look for a chibi. What a waste of a good day!这么明澈的阳光，却不能沐浴着它睡觉，反而要来找什么二头身，真是暴殄天物啊。

AkiIt's about time you showed up. We're fundamentally the same, you and I. No matter how well you hide yourself, I know you're here.差不多该出来了。你我本是同源，就算藏得再深，我也知道你一定就躲在这里。

鸟儿(Chirping)啾啾——啾——

AkiSo it's only some birds... Could it really not be here? That's strange.只有鸟儿吗……难道真的不在这里？奇怪。

AkiWait a minute... This birdsong...等等……这个鸟鸣声……

秋？(Snoring)呼……呼……

AkiSo you were using a bird's nest as a disguise. I expected nothing less of me.原来是用鸟窝做伪装，不愧是我。

AkiWell, since nobody else has found you yet, I might as well get some rest too. It'll also take the stress off people who haven't found their chibis yet.看来大家都还没找到，那我也稍微休息一下吧，也避免让没找到的人徒增压力。

秋？和秋(Snoring)呼……呼…………

Python? 派森？

派森？More firepower! More speed!更强的火力！更快的速度！

派森？How do you expect everyone to be satisfied with that performance?! RUN!这么软弱的表现如何能让大家服气？！跑起来！

???¥&#¥&QUQ...￥&#￥&QUQ……

PythonThat's enough. Were you hoping to mess things up like this along with this strange goat?真是够了。和这只怪羊一起把事情闹成这副样子，就是你期望看到的吗？

派森？Rather than let that useless lot laze around in idleness, why don't we show them what a true battlefield looks like?!与其放任这些中看不中用的家伙沉溺于安逸的生活，不如和我一起让他们见识见识真正的战场吧！

Python...I can't bear to hear those thoughts I occasionally have being spoken out loud.……听着心里偶尔会有的想法被这样说出来，真是无地自容。

派森？You've grown soft too! Your joints are going to rust once you leave Magrasea!你也变得软弱了，离开麦戈拉的时候关节都要生锈了吧。

PythonTraining is for the long term. I'll show you whether or not I'm rusty.锻炼非一日之功，生没生锈，你来试试就知道。

De Lacey? 德菈赛？

De LaceyI've looked everywhere but I can't find my chibi dolls, where could they have gone...到处都找不到我的二头身娃娃，到底去哪儿了呢……

德菈赛？Hehe, I'd like to make one for the Professor too, so I can hear what they're thinking.嘿嘿，真想给教授也做一个，听听心里的声音啊。

De LaceyYup, the Professor looks cute no matter what shape they're in... ♡是呀。不管是什么形态的教授，都好可爱呢……♡

De Lacey...Hang on, didn't that voice just now come from inside the room...……等等，刚才的这个声音，是从房间里传来的……

德菈赛？Hehe, I'll duplicate the Professor's badge and then throw in some souvenir fans.嘿嘿，教授的工牌也要做一个一模一样的，再来个扇子周边吧。

德菈赛？How lovely... You think so too, don't you, little goat?真是太棒了……小羊，你也是这么想的吧？

De LaceyCould this room be...这个房间里，难道都是……

德菈赛？This is heaven... I can't wait to share this joy with our friends in Arcadia!真是天堂……要给阿卡迪亚的伙伴们也分享这份快乐！

De Lacey...Ahhhhh, I've had it! Initiating retrieval program!……啊啊啊真是够了！回收程序启动！

Centaureissi? 桑朵莱希？

CentaureissiHow disgraceful... How could I have allowed my innermost thoughts to be spoken... Ugh!真是羞耻……怎么能把这么私密的心声说出……唔！

桑朵莱希？A proper maid does not neglect the potential dangers around her even when she is deep in thought.真正合格的女仆，就算在思考时也不能忽略周围可能的危机哦。

CentaureissiThank you for the lesson. I assume the wicked creature to the side is the mastermind behind this incident?感谢赐教。旁边那个邪恶之物，就是这次事件的始作俑者吗？

CentaureissiThank you for helping me out at a time like this, my chibi.谢谢你，我的二头身，在这个时候也帮了我的忙。

桑朵莱希？You're welcome. Taking out the trash is a maid's responsibility.不必客气，清扫垃圾可是女仆的责任。

CentaureissiBut you should not become part of the problem yourself. If you insist on not going back, then I have no choice but to clear you away as well!但你不该成为麻烦的一环。如果你坚持不回去，那就只能一起被清扫掉了！

Florence? 芙洛伦？

FlorenceYup, I'll tie you up like this. Now all that's left is that goat...嗯，这样就绑好了。接下来就只剩那只羊……

芙洛伦？Fufu... Mmmfufu... I like it like this~呼呼……呵呵呼呼……我很喜欢这样哦~

芙洛伦？Being tied to a post where everyone can watch me with shocked or awed looks in their eyes...被绑在随处可见的柱子上，被大家或震惊或感叹的眼神注视着……

FlorenceYou'd best be prepared for trouble while seeking your thrills, you know...?寻求刺激的同时，也要做好惹来麻烦的觉悟哦……？

芙洛伦？Nothing could please me more~ Want to do it with me? Come on~求之不得~一起来吧？来嘛~

FlorenceNo can do. I still need to trade you in for a special reward from the Professor.这可不行，我还要用你来换教授的特别奖励呢。

芙洛伦？There's no point bothering with that! Come enjoy this thrill right now!那种事情已经没什么好在意的了！一起享受现在的刺激吧！

Florence(Sigh) Don't pounce on me while dragging the post along with you~诶，不要带着柱子就热情地扑过来嘛~

Gin? 琴？

Gin(Sigh) The bar's a mess now.……唉。酒吧都变得一团糟了。

琴？No need to worry, I'll tidy it up afterwards.不必担心，稍后就会收拾好的。

GinStart by cleaning up that goat-horned monster. It'll be bad if the customers see it.先把那个羊角魔物收起来吧，被客人看见就不好了。

琴？What's so bad about that? It's just returning to the past. I'm used to being carried along by time... and being changed by it.有什么不好？不过就是回到过去。我早已习惯了被时间裹挟……一起变迁。

琴？I've always wanted to try smacking rowdy customers hard in the forehead and letting them taste the beauty of wine through their skulls.早就想试试了。对那些不守规矩的客人当头重击，让他们用头领略酒的魅力。

GinNeither the Professor nor the other guests want that, so you can't do it.教授和其他顾客都不希望这样， 所以不能做。

琴？You should just do it. Maybe when you do, you'll be able to taste the other flavors dissolved in the wine...做吧，也许做了就能学会情感，那些融在酒精里的味道……

Gin(Sigh) Convincing myself is difficult. Might as well just take care of you, along with that horned monster.……唉。说服自己是件难事。还是先收拾起来吧，连着那个羊角魔物一起。

Nora? 野良？

NoraOi, you must be slacking off here, right? What are all these pieces of paper here?喂，你应该很想摸鱼吧，为什么这里这么多纸？

Nora...And they look terrible too, could it be that I'm actually pursuing some kind of abstract art deep in my soul?……画得真丑，难道我内心深处在追求这种抽象艺术吗？

野良？Hehe... Hehehe, I ought to be the one who knows my own aims best, right?嘿嘿……嘿嘿嘿，我应该最清楚我想做什么吧？

野良？I want to do whatever I want! I want to write whatever's in my heart!想干嘛就干嘛！无论写什么都随自己的心愿！

野良？If you don't want to be harassed by editors over deadlines, then all you have to do is write a bunch of crap humans don't understand.再也不用被编辑催死线，就算写一堆没有人类能看懂的东西也可以！

野良？(Coos like a pigeon)咕咕，咕咕咕——

NoraUgh, her lack of updates is terminal, to the point where she's even physically mutating...唔，鸽化已经这么严重了吗，甚至出现了变异症状……

NoraHmm, after the goat demon's curse mutated her, the crestfallen scriptwriter instead created an everlasting work... That's a great premise!由羊角恶魔施加的诅咒引发了一系列变异， 失意编剧反而因此创造了不朽的作品……真是不错的题材啊！

NoraWaaait, at least let me write my inspiration down before we start fighting—等等，让我先记录灵感再开打啊——

Daiyan? 黛烟？

DaiyanI've found you at last. Extending me an invitation through music is something that I would have done.找到你了。用乐音邀我来此，真像我自己的作风。

黛烟？It would have been best if I could have brought the Professor and Jiangyu over as well. We could have lost ourselves in the music, from the Army-Routing Song to Night-time on the Ocean...要是能把教授和绛雨也一并引来就好了，我们几人一同醉心乐曲， 从破阵曲弹到夜上海……

黛烟？How joyful would it be to invite those dear to our hearts for tea and conversation?邀在意之人饮茶谈心，何其快乐。

DaiyanThat plushie is certainly interesting. If I had not yet come to the Oasis, I would surely have been deeply embarrassed by all this.这人偶倒是有趣，若是还未来到绿洲，我定然会因此羞恼不堪吧。

DaiyanBut things are much different now. There is someone who understands me, even without that plushie.但如今已大不相同，即使没有这样的人偶，也已有人懂我心意了。

黛烟？But it's still not enough. I must take the one who is dear to my heart all for myself.还不够，要将在意之人独占了才好。

Daiyan(Sigh) It would be bad if that got out. Come, return with me.唉……这念头要是被知道了可不好，来吧，跟我回去。

Fool's Duality 愚者二象性

In the main hall of the Oasis.绿洲。大厅。

克罗琦？PROFESSOR, YOU SET ME UP!教授，你算计我！

末宵？Let me go! At the very least, don't tie me up next to HER...快放开我！至少不要和这家伙捆在一起……

初尘？Sueyoi... You're still fond of throwing tantrums like a kid...末宵……还是像个小孩子一样爱闹别扭啊……

芙洛伦？Professor, the ropes are a bit too tight... But I like this feeling too~教授，绳子缠得太紧了吧……不过这种感觉也不错~

德菈赛？Yup, after all the Professor DID tie us up on their own~是呀~毕竟是教授亲手绑起来的呢~

帕斯卡？Hehe... I should just strangle all of you.呵呵……勒死你们算了。

SolHey now, behave, all of you!喂，都给我老实点！

SolBehave! Behave!老实点！老实点！

SolYou too!你也一样！

Antonina(Groan) I feel like my head's about to explode.唉……吵得我头都要炸了。

PersicariaProfessor, this should be all of the chibis.教授，所有的二头身人形应该都在这里了。

After much difficulty, we've finally captured all those little troublemakers.在一番苦战之后，我们终于抓住了所有捣乱的小家伙。

And of course, there's the culprit behind this entire disturbance...当然，还有这次骚动的始作俑者——

ProfessorWell, Antonina, have you cracked her firewall yet?怎么样，安冬妮娜，破解这家伙的防火墙了吗？

AntoninaEr, give me a little more time...呃，再给我一点时间……

安冬妮娜2号？I don't understand this at all... The code for this thing is really freaky...完全搞不懂啊……这个东西的编码方式好诡异……

AntoninaHey! Shut up and help out properly!喂，安静！给我好好帮忙！

安冬妮娜2号？Dammit, it'll be too embarrassing to let the others know I can't handle this problem...可恶，让人发现我解决不了的话就太丢脸了……

安冬妮娜？Why don't you make up some technobabble to bluff them, just like when you wrecked Sol's computer the last time.干脆编一些他们听不懂的术语随便糊弄过去吧，就像之前搞坏苏尔电脑的时候一样。

SolHah?啊？

AntoninaProfessor! I recommend we get rid of these chibis first. I can't work with them around!教授！我建议先把这些二头身处理掉，有它们在这里我根本没法工作！

PersicariaRelax, Antonina. We haven't figured out the root cause of the situation yet. Besides, eliminating them directly would be a little sad...别着急安冬妮娜，我们还没有搞清楚事情的原委呢，再说直接把它们处理掉也太可怜……

帕斯卡？(Yawn) Yup, after all, I haven't had my fill of seeing everyone embarrass themselves.哈欠……是啊，大家出糗的样子我还没看够呢。

PersicariaI, I would never think that!我，我可没有这么想啊！

AntoninaPersicaria... So you...帕斯卡……原来你……

PersicariaI told you it's not true, didn't I? (Whimper) Professor...都说了不是了！呜，教授……

PersicariaHow do you plan to dispose of them?您打算怎么处置这些家伙呢？

SolYou mean, as in physically destroy them?是要物理销毁吗？

Destroy them.销毁。

Raise them.养起来。

Eat them.吃掉。

SolHaha, go on and destroy us. It won't hurt anyway!哈哈，销毁就销毁吧，反正也不会疼！

SolWhile I know they're just copies... I find it really hard to actually do it to all these familiar faces.虽然只是分身……但是对着这些熟悉的面孔，还是有点下不去手啊。

PersicariaProfessor?!教授！？

AntoninaWell, it's not completely out of the question. We can have them serve as labor for us.好像也不是不行，还能让它们继续充当一下劳动力。

安冬妮娜？Ah, what a pain. Why don't I just hack all of the Oasis' systems and take a vacation...好麻烦啊……不如把绿洲的系统全都黑掉吧，这样就可以放假了。

Antonina...Pretend I never said anything.……当我什么都没说。

PersicariaI'm sure this isn't workable, right? I mean, we wouldn't have so many problems if these chibis could be counted on to listen to instructions.肯定不行吧，如果这些二头身能听话，绿洲也不会出这么多乱子了。

PersicariaI see, so we'll eat... Wait, what?这样呀，吃……诶？

AntoninaAt times like these, I really wish we had a chibi of the Professor so we could figure out what they're thinking...这种时候真希望有个教授的二头身，好让我听听他说出这种话的时候到底在想什么……

SolIs, is that supposed to be an April Fool's joke?是，是愚人节玩笑吧？

PersicariaProfessor, please be serious! This isn't the time for jokes!教授，拜托你认真一些，现在不是开玩笑的时候！

SolWhen you get down to it, it was this goat that spawned all those chibis, right?说到底，这些二头身都是这只羊搞出来的吧。

SolWhy don't we roast it up? Wouldn't that solve the problem?不如我们直接把这只羊烤了，问题会不会就解决了？

AntoninaThat's true. Plus, researching a dead specimen is much more convenient than researching a live one.确实，研究一个死掉的东西总是比活物方便多了。

安冬妮娜？That way, nobody will discover that I'm almost at my wits' end... Mfff!这样大家就不会发现我其实快要没辙了……唔！

AntoninaEven if it's for the sake of the Oasis, we can't let this lot run around freely any longer.即使是为了绿洲的安全，也不能再放任这帮家伙了。

AntoninaSol, do it!苏尔，快动手吧！

SolNo problem. All I need is one swing...没问题，那我就一刀……

???¥¥,&#¥%#!￥￥，&#￥%#！

PersicariaHm? It looks like it's trying to say something.诶？它好像有什么想说的。

SolBut none of us can understand it.但我们也没人听得懂啊。

ProfessorNobody can understand it... That's right...没人听得懂吗……对了……

AntoninaQuickly, Sol! Don't give it the chance to try any tricks!快动手啊苏尔！别让它有机会再搞什么花样！

SolOhh, okay, watch—噢噢，好，看我的——

ProfessorWait!等一下！

SolEr, Professor? What is it?呃，教授？怎么了？

安冬妮娜？Kill it, kill it, kill it!快把它做掉快把它做掉！

AntoninaTsk... Professor, why did you tell Sol to stop?啧……教授，为什么叫停苏尔？

ProfessorI suddenly remembered that there might be someone who might be able to understand its language.我突然想到，有一个人或许能听懂它的话。

PersicariaYou mean...?您是说……？

ImhotepSo, you called me here for this?所以，你们叫我来就是为了这个吗？

PersicariaYes. This creature looks like some sort of animal, so we were wondering if you could understand what it's saying.是的，因为这只生物看起来也算是动物，不知道伊姆赫特有没有办法听懂它在说什么。

ImhotepWell, I'm no psychic, so I can't figure out what it's saying right away.这个嘛，我也不是超能力者，没办法一下子就搞明白它的意思。

ImhotepHowever, if you could give me a chance to get close and observe it...不过，如果教授能给我一些亲近和观察它的机会……

ProfessorI'll be counting on you, then.那就交给你了。

ImhotepAlright, little one. Anything you want to say?那么，小家伙，你有什么想要狡辩的吗？

???%#¥*&%,#¥*%...%#￥*&%，#￥*%……

The goat-shaped creature makes unintelligible noises.羊形生物发出意义不明的声音。

PersicariaImhotep, do you understand it?伊姆赫特，能听懂吗？

ProfessorImhotep?伊姆赫特？

Imhotep%¥#,¥&*#*&#*?%￥#，￥&*#*&#*？

???&#¥*&!&#￥*&！

SolAre you kidding me? She actually got through to it?!真的假的，居然能沟通吗！？

PersicariaWell, that's Imhotep for you...不愧是伊姆赫特……

ImhotepUm... While I don't fully understand what it's saying, it seems to be begging for mercy.嗯……虽然不能完全理解，但它应该是在求饶哦。

ImhotepSomething along the lines of "Please forgive me, I'll do anything for you".大概是“原谅我吧，我什么都会做的”之类的。

ProfessorThen it can start by clearing up the chibis it spawned.那就让它把自己制造的二头身解决掉吧。

???%#%,#¥%!%#%,#￥%!

ImhotepI think it's saying that if you let it go, it'll help us take in all the clones.它好像在说，只要放开它，它就会开始帮我们回收分身了。

SolSo should I untie it?那我就松绑咯？

AntoninaWait! Surely you don't believe what it's saying that easily, do you? What if it's got another trick up its sleeve...等一下！你们不会这么轻易就相信了吧，万一它还有什么招数……

安冬妮娜？Aw, if everyone keeps talking things out, then my job will be waaaaay easier!哎呀，如果大家一直都这么好说话，以后我的工作也会轻松不少吧！

AntoninaWhy you...这个家伙……

The goat suddenly cries out in a strange voice. The Antonina chibi, which is the closest to it, suddenly radiates white light composed of operands and then slowly vanishes into the air.那只羊突然发出了奇怪的叫声。离它最近的二头身安冬妮娜，身上突然冒出算量组成的白光，随后逐渐消失在空气中。

安冬妮娜2号？Ah, am I free?啊，我解放了？

PersicariaHehe, looks like it's true to its word.呵呵，看来它还是蛮有诚意的嘛。

ProfessorAlright, we'll leave the rest of the chibis to you, then.嗯，那剩下的二头身也交给它处理吧。

Sol carefully undoes the goat's bonds, and then blinding light fills the entire Ops Room.苏尔谨慎地为羊松开绳索。于是，耀眼的光芒笼罩了整个指挥室。

SolAh, I found my sword, it was in my head all along!啊，找到我的刀了，原来在头上！

克罗琦？I'm stuck in a crowded place again and I'm packed in like sardines with others I wish I could just disappear... This is great. I really am disappearing...又被困在了这么多人的地方还必须和大家零距离接触真的好烦好想原地消失……太好了，我居然真的在原地消失……

席摩？At last... I won't have to fight everyone ~squeak...终于……不用和大家战斗了吱……

琴？I see, so both your smile on the surface and your inner thoughts are pointless in the end...原来如此，不管是表面的微笑还是心声，到头来都没有什么意义啊……

桑朵莱希？If only I could work a little longer and keep everyone company...如果能再做一段时间的工作，再陪伴大家久一些就好了……

卡萝？Oh come on, what kind of ending is this, anyway? We could have gotten a ton of popularity from this! Pay me back for my missing views, Professor!!这样结束也太亏了！本来可以趁这个事件大炒特炒的！教授赔我热度！！

派森？While saying so might lead to you becoming full of yourself, I have to say, you all deserve praise. Well done.虽然这么说容易让你们自傲，但真该夸夸你们这些小家伙了，这次干得不错。

末宵？Dammit... I swear, I'll do better than Hatsuchiri next time!可恶……我下次一定会做得比初尘还好的！

初尘？Ah... I wish I could look at that goat a little longer...啊……还想再看看那只羊……

德菈赛？Hehe... All this was a little embarrassing, but I suppose I managed to close the distance between the Professor and myself, at least~嘿嘿……虽然有些不好意思，但今天能用这种方式让教授了解我，也算是拉近了我们的距离吧~

黛烟？What a shame that we had so little time to bare our hearts to each other, Professor. I was hoping to take this opportunity to reveal more of my true intentions...真可惜，与教授坦诚相谈的时光如此短暂，本来想借这次良机多向您透露几分心意……

芙洛伦？Professor, I had lots of fun this time around, being able to see your perplexed face was simply the best~教授，这次玩得很刺激哦，能看到你困扰的样子真是太棒了~

野良？The words from one's heart as one is about to disappear... Oh, I feel inspired! Wait, let me write one last thing...即将消失时的心声……灵感来了！等等，让我再写一句……

赫波？Fresnel... Come look... This star looks just like you...菲涅尔……快看……这颗星星好像你……

秋？(Snores)呼……呼……

PersicariaIt seems everyone had a lot hidden away in their hearts.看来平时大家的心里也是藏了不少事情啊。

PersicariaThat's true. Though we did it by dodgy means, we did manage to find out what everyone truly thinks which we rarely get to hear.是啊，虽然方法不太妥当，但也听到了平时很难听到的心声。

PersicariaHehe, think of it as an April Fool's Day prank from everyone and forget about it afterwards.呵呵，就当作是大家在愚人节开的玩笑，回头就忘掉吧。

ProfessorIn any case, we've finally gotten rid of those troublemakers.总之，终于把这群捣乱的家伙送走了。

PersicariaWait a minute, Professor. There's still one more.等等，教授，还剩下一只吧。

帕斯卡？(Yawn) ...Is it my turn to go back?哈欠……也到我该回去的时候了吗？

ProfessorYou worked hard for the Oasis during your time here. Thank you.这段时间你也为绿洲做了一些工作吧，辛苦了。

I feel like I've come to understand everyone better after this.感觉经历这次事情后，更了解大家了呢。

It seems I've heard many things that I shouldn't have.似乎听到了很多不该听的事情。

帕斯卡？Eh, it's nothing... I just dump work onto the other departments whenever I want to sleep...没什么辛苦的……想睡觉的时候就把工作甩给其他部门就好……

SolHah? Persicaria, you did that?!啊？帕斯卡，你居然做过这种事吗！？

AntoninaPersicaria, I feel like I've come to know a brand new side of you...帕斯卡，这次真的是重新认识你了……

PersicariaNo, it's not true! I've never done that before!不、不是啊！我绝对没有这么做过！

PersicariaI don't know what that goat did, but its thoughts and personality are totally different from mine... In any case, it's not a simple copy of my neural cloud!不知道是不是那只羊搞错了什么，它的想法和性格都和我不一样……总之不是简单的心智复制品！

Persicaria—What are you...?——你到底是……？

帕斯卡？(Snore)呼……

PersicariaHey, don't pretend to sleep...喂，别又装睡了……

Just as Persicaria is about to wake up her chibi, it suddenly erupts into action!在帕斯卡正打算唤醒她的二头身的时候，蜷缩着的二头身突然暴起！

A cold wind races past Persicaria's cheek and sets her hair fluttering.一道凌冽的风自帕斯卡的脸颊擦过，卷起了她的鬓发。

PersicariaUwah!呜哇！

ProfessorPersicaria, look—帕斯卡，小心……

ProfessorGuwaaaargh?!咕噗！？

—A flying coffee cup hits me square in the forehead.——飞来的咖啡杯径直砸在了我的脑门上。

帕斯卡？Dammit, will you shut the hell up?! At least let me get some sleep at the end!吵死了！到最后了就让我好好睡一会啊！

Professor(This temper... I've seen it before... Could it be...)（这熟悉的脾气……难道是……）

帕斯卡？(Snore)呼……

After unleashing her wrath, the Persicaria chibi goes to sleep again, and she vanishes as the goat chants its spell.帕斯卡的二头身发完脾气又转头睡去，随着怪羊的咒语逐渐飘散。

Professor(...Nah, it couldn't be.)（……不，应该不可能吧。）

PersicariaProfessor, are you alright?教授，您没事吧！

ProfessorI'm fine. Or rather, too many creepy things have happened already. I don't think there's anything left which could scare me...没事，不如说这次的诡异事件实在太多了，已经没什么事情能吓到我了……

???&¥%#¥?&￥%#￥？

ImhotepAh, it's asking if we can let it go now.啊，它问现在可以放它走了吗？

PersicariaA moment please, Professor. Is it really a good idea to let such a dangerous thing go so easily?等等，教授，轻易放走这么危险的东西真的好吗？

AntoninaPlus, I haven't figured out its identity yet...而且我还没有搞清楚这家伙的身份……

ProfessorWell, we promised it, so we've got to keep our word.毕竟已经答应它了，说话必须算话啊。

ProfessorAnd besides, it might have caused a big fuss, but it didn't do any real damage, right?而且，虽然动静很大，但这次也没有造成什么实质性的危害吧？

SolThat's true...倒也是啊……

ProfessorStill, you need to promise us that you won't go around pranking people or causing them problems, okay?不过，你得答应我们哦。今后不准再随便恶作剧，给人添麻烦了。

ProfessorOr else...要不然的话……

Sure.可以。

Nope.不行。

Before I can finish speaking, Antonina has already raised her hand. She has condensed operands into a light green halo over the goat's head.我话音未落，安冬妮娜已经抬起了手，算量凝聚成淡绿色的光晕悬浮在头顶。

Startled, the goat cries out and then its body begins to shrink rapidly.那只羊被吓得惊叫一声，随后身体突然开始飞速缩小。

PersicariaHuh? This is...哎？这是？

???6LCi6LCi, 5oiR5Lus5LmL5ZCO5Lya5YaN6KeB55qe...6LCi6LCi，5oiR5Lus5LmL5ZCO5Lya5YaN6KeB55qE……

???%#¥*%?!%#￥*%！？

ImhotepAh, it's asking if you're planning to go back on your word?哎呀，它质问您想要出尔反尔吗？

ProfessorAntonina, do it.安冬妮娜，动手吧。

AntoninaYou don't have to tell me twice.不用你多说。

Before the goat-shaped creature can react, a wave of light washes over its body.羊形生物还没有反应过来，算量汇聚成的光波就已经划过了它的身体。

ProfessorSorry I tricked you, but today is April Fool's Day, after all.很抱歉骗了你，不过今天可是愚人节啊。

ProfessorWe can't let a dangerous creature like yourself continue making trouble in Magrasea, don't you think?不能放任你这样的危险生物在麦戈拉继续作乱吧？

???￥#%#...￥#%#……

The goat makes an unintelligible cry and its body begins to rapidly shrink.羊发出意义不明的叫声，身体也开始飞速缩小。

PersicariaWait a minute, what's it doing?等一下，它要干什么？

A puff of smoke materializes from under its feet and fills the entire Ops Room.一阵烟雾凭空从它的脚下生成，笼罩了整个指挥室。

By the time the smoke clears, the only thing remaining is a goat-shaped plushie Doll on the ground.待到烟雾散去的时候，那里只剩下一个山羊模样的玩偶躺在地上。

AntoninaTch, so it escaped, huh.啧，跑掉了吗。

SolIt changed back to its original form...又变成原本的玩偶了……

AntoninaAnd its operand makeup reverted to that of a plushie. How did that even work...而且算量构成也变回玩偶的结构了。这到底是什么原理呢……

PersicariaProfessor, what should we do with this plushie?教授，这个玩偶要怎么处理？

ProfessorWhy don't we ask its owner?我们不妨听一下原主的意见吧？

PersicariaIts owner?原主？

ChanzhiProfessor! I'm here to help...教授！我来帮忙了……

ChanzhiEh... So the matter's settled?诶……事情已经解决了吗？

SolYup, we defeated that strange creature and it turned back into your plushie.是啊，我们已经把那个奇怪的生物打倒了，现在变回你的玩偶了哦。

ProfessorDo you want it back?你想把它拿回去吗？

ChanzhiI, I think not! I'm afraid I'll cause problems again...还，还是算了吧！我害怕我又闯祸……

PersicariaWhy don't we leave it with the Technical Department? Even if they can't figure out its structure right away, they'll be able to keep it locked up and neutralize it.不如把它留在技术局吧。即使不能马上解析清楚它的构造，也可以暂时封存起来，做无害化处理。

ProfessorSounds good to me. Let's do that, then.也好。那就这么办。

ProfessorWhat's the matter?怎么了？

ChanzhiAh... Actually, in addition to helping out, I also came to apologize to everyone!那个……我其实除了来帮忙之外，还想来给大家道个歉！

ChanzhiWhen I bought the Doll, I just didn't want to get tricked, but I ended up causing all these problems for everyone...本来买这个玩偶只是想让自己不被骗，结果却把大家捉弄得这么惨……

ProfessorYup, you got us all pretty good, but isn't messing with others the whole point of April Fool's Day?确实是很惨啊，不过捉弄别人不就是愚人节的意义吗？

ChanzhiHuh?诶？

ProfessorEveryone fell for your prank, so that makes you the big winner of this April Fool's Day.大家这次都被缠枝的恶作剧整到了，这次愚人节算得上是你的大获全胜了。

ChanzhiSo you're saying... You're not mad at me, Professor?这么说……教授不会怪我咯？

ProfessorOf course not. How could I get mad at being pranked on April Fools' Day?当然，愚人节被捉弄是不能生气的吧。

ChanzhiThat's great! Thank you, Professor!太好了！谢谢教授！

ProfessorAlso, everyone's in a pretty good mood after being pranked. Take a look.而且，被捉弄的大家现在也都蛮开心的嘛。你瞧。

SolAnna, your chibi just now said you wrecked my computer. That's not true, is it?安娜，刚刚你的二头身说你搞坏了我的电脑，不是真的吧？

AntoninaEr, well... That was because we didn't have enough diggcoin miners in the Oasis back then...呃，这个嘛……因为当时绿洲的矿机不够……

SolAnna, that's over the line!安娜，太过分了！

AntoninaAh... Well, if you want to talk about being too much, then Persicaria's to blame too! I can't believe she gave us all overtime just because she wanted to sleep!那个……要说过分的话，帕斯卡也是吧，居然为了自己睡觉就给我们加班！

PersicariaI told you, I really didn't do it!!都，都说了我真的没有那么做过啊！！

ChanzhiUwah, stop fighting!呜哇，别吵架啊！

ImhotepHehe, it seems the truth truly is scarier than lies at times.呵呵，看起来真话有时候比谎话更可怕呢。

The main hall, which had only gone silent after much effort, immediately fills with commotion again...不好容易安静下来的大厅又变得吵闹了起来……

In the Oasis' Ops Room.绿洲。指挥部。

After finishing the cleaning work for this mess, I'm enjoying a peaceful and quiet break in the Ops Room.结束了这场混乱的善后工作，我在指挥部里享受着平静的休息时间。

Though we had a lively April Fools' Day, something still seems a little lacking...虽然度过了一个热闹的愚人节，但总觉得缺了些什么……

Knock knock.咚咚。

ProfessorCome in.请进。

帕斯卡？G-Good afternoon, Professor.教，教授，下午好。

ProfessorIs that a chibi?!二，二头身！？

帕斯卡？Ah...那个……

克罗琦？Professor, we're back!教授啊，我回来了！

卡萝？Time to raid the Professor's Ops Room again!再度突袭教授的指挥部！

桑朵莱希？Master, I believe there is still a lot of garbage to clear up.长官，你应该还有不少垃圾要打理吧。

席摩？Professor, do you have any assignments for us... ~squeak?教授，有什么任务吗……吱。

Just like before, many Doll chibis flood into the Ops Room.和过去一样，许多人形的二头身再一次涌进了我的指挥室。

ProfessorWhy are there still chibis around? Weren't they all wiped out?!为什么还会有二头身在，难道不应该全部消灭掉了吗！？

I open the emergency channel, but nobody answers me.我打开应急通话，却没有任何人回应我。

安冬妮娜？Don't bother, I've already hacked the comms systems.放弃吧，通讯系统已经被我黑掉了。

安冬妮娜2号？To be precise, I hacked them.准确来说，是我黑掉的……

卡萝？Alright, Professor! Unblock my stream channel or else we'll continue making trouble!好了，教授！马上解封我的直播间，不然我们就继续捣乱！

克罗琦？No wait, you should increase the Engineering Department's budget first! I want to build a new model of Metal Suit!不对，应该先增加工程局的预算才对！我要造新款机兵！

安冬妮娜？Also, don't forget extra paid vacation for the Technical Department.还有，别忘了给技术局增加带薪假期。

席摩？Wait a minute, did we go too far...等等，是不是有些做得太过分了……

桑朵莱希？Simo, you forgot to squeak.席摩，你忘说吱了。

席摩？Ah, sorry ~squeak.啊，抱歉吱。

ProfessorYou guys... You're not chibis, are you?你们……不是二头身吧。

卡萝？We're clearly chibis! Now don't change the subject and unblock my stream channel!我们明明就是货真价实的二头身啊！别岔开话题了，快解封直播间！

ProfessorIn that case, Chibi Kuro, could you please tell me who was the one who streamed inside the chocolate factory without permission last month and caused the chocolate to get burnt?请问二头身卡萝，上个月在巧克力工厂违规开直播，导致巧克力被烤糊的人是谁呢？

卡萝？Um... I, er...呃……这个嘛……

ProfessorChibis can only tell the truth, so they won't evade the question.只能说真话的二头身可不会回避问题哦。

卡萝？I can't believe you saw through me so quickly. Epic fail...没想到这么快就被识破了，大失败……

帕斯卡？Sorry, Professor. It was just an April Fool's joke.抱歉，教授，这是个愚人节玩笑啦。

帕斯卡？Although we didn't manage to find out what that creature was, we managed to obtain a lot of data about those chibis...虽然我们没有调查出那只生物的身份，但是收集到了不少关于二头身的数据……

安冬妮娜？So we decided to turn them into neural cloud projections and pull an April Fools' prank on you. Scared you, didn't we?所以我就把它们做成了心智投影，为教授补上了这场愚人节的恶作剧，被吓到了吧。

安冬妮娜2号？To be precise, I did that too...准确来说，这个也是我做的……

ProfessorIs that also a projection beside you, Antonina (?)安冬妮娜，你边上这个也是投影吗？

安冬妮娜？...You can think of it that way.……你就当作是吧。

桑朵莱希？I apologize. Deceiving you was improper, but it was in keeping with the spirit of the occasion. I hope you will not mind, Master.抱歉，虽然欺骗长官有失体面，不过也是节日的风俗，希望您不会介意。

卡萝？The Professor's not allowed to mind! You can't get mad at people for playing tricks during April Fools' Day!是不许介意才对！愚人节的玩笑是不能生气的！

克罗琦？Still, you're supposed to say something if you want to be forgiven for your prank, right?不过想要被原谅的话，恶作剧之后是不是要说什么来着？

帕斯卡？That's right, Professor...是啊，教授……

人形们HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' DAY!愚人节快乐！

Fan archive of the official game scripts. All story text and art belong to their publishers.